My deepest, darkest secrets…
DO I REMEMBER!?
I don’t care about the freaking pot. That’s the easiest way I know how to explain grief.
I Stole a Car and Gave My Life To Jesus-Prove that He isn’t Real
Story Time from before, when I gave my life to Jesus. “I’m tired of you treating me like this! If you’re going to hit me, just do it already!!” “I’m tired…
If This Doesn’t Describe Your BF, Dump Him-My Biggest Fear
My biggest fear… I’m absolutely wild but he can still take me seriously. He says he loves me and means it. He shakes my Father’s hand and looked my mom in…
We’re Public People-Where the Heck I’ve Been
In the past, when the blog was down I continued writing. But when my Mom died, so did I, and so did the blog. I hardly wrote down anything for the…
Life Is Bitter Sweet-Holding The Family Together-I’m So Crazy About Him
I’ve been pushing off this trip for awhile. For many reasons. For one, my Mormor is ancient and extremely exhausting to manage. I love her to death but she’s like…
One Year Without Her- Neurological Damage and Therapy
I still feel the weight — a weight of exhaustion. It’s the feeling of responsibility, and of failing at that responsibility. “Give your burdens to the Lord,” can be easier…
The Wedding
It was raining. It was dreamy like every movie promises. It was far greater than the Pinterest board made when I was twelve. Our wedding was the best day of…
The New Chapter
I’m sorry to have startled you all with the sudden site take down. Mom passed away and I wanted to delete everything out of intense grief and desperation to get…
The Power of Greif – A New Chapter
It’s a source of regret that I never had the opportunity to share my blog with Mom. Among the many things mom won’t see, this one stings particularly because I…
The Engagement-Grief & Happiness-
Yes, you read that right! The day finally came; my boyfriend got down on a knee and asked me if I’d spend the rest of my life with him. It…
The Only Thing I Wanted-The Engagement is Off
Hey blog friends. I know a lot of my posts recently have been really depressing. That’s just life lately for me, but in this post I’ll try to be a…
Mom’s Cancer Story-Final Chapter
The doctors told us that mom has two/three months left. Her scan came back with five additional tumors in her brain. Dr. Is guessing that her body is full of…
How to Help Kid’s With Sick Parents-Mom’s Cancer Story-Fighting Melanoma
We’re at the hospital again. Mom had a seizure and fell in the kitchen this morning. This was her second seizure, except this time wasn’t because she didn’t refill her…
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- Mom’s Cancer Story (21)
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- Story Time (Drama and Tea) (21)
A Provoked Child-Mom’s Cancer Story-The Family Dirt
An explanation/demonstration of why cheap grace/hyper-faith has ruined my family. For all of my life since day one, my family has had two options. But every time, they don’t just…
Hidden Feelings-I Burned His Love Letters-“She Isn’t You”
You might laugh at my “being such a dramatic girl” tendencies but what can you expect? You brought yourself here so don’t act so shocked. This is a white girl’s…
My Haters-The Truth Comes To Light-Anger Management
Live peacefully with all men. If it is possible, as much lieth within me… I repeat over and over and over. It helps. These are the things that changed and…
When Your House Is Haunted-Finally Moving Out
Well Blog fam. It’s time for a real post. A casual, “back to normal” post about moving the heck out of my abusive house. (If you’re not a part of…
The God Who Moves Mountains-Mom’s Cancer Story-Gag Me With A Spoon Why Don’t You?
I’m sorry for such a delayed post. You’re all probably hating me right now. Mom made it through, she’s okay. The surgery went according to plan, no mess ups. Doctors…
Our Last Chance-Mom’s 4th Brain Surgery-The Whole World Crumbles
I’ve been counting down the hours. We’ve hit literal rock bottom. At 1:30 they begin our last option. I’m not trembling. I’m not shaking with fear. I’m not a crumbling…
How to Fantasize College and Building The Life-THAT Girl Confidence
What would you do with your time if you could do whatever you wanted? A lady asked me this question the other day. Sometimes you just want to leave work…
Testing For Funding-How To Pass Your Assessments-Dealing with Adult Bullies-Struggle Of Day Traders
I’ve begun my assessments for funding! Here’s a quick update my crypto/forex friends. This is S’s second-week trading for the company and my first week of testing. Last week went…
Certified and Funded-It took 1,121 Days-Trader’s Series
That’s right my friends, I didn’t click bait you this time. He opened his laptop in the church office this morning to a certificate of funding. He passed the test…
What Coming Off Steroids Is Like-Immunotherapy and Radiation-Mom’s Cancer Story
Mom’s first dose of Immunotherapy was yesterday. We haven’t had issues with the medicine, not anything that’s out of the ordinary. The doctors say it’s all going as planned. They…
What the First Week Of Radiation Is Like-Mom’s Cancer Story
Her radiation mask was made, dad’s insurance passed for immunotherapy, and we have two treatments behind us already. The doctor told us that her speech and memory declining daily is…
Stop Denying Affection-There Won’t be Enough Time to Make up for Right Now-
You’re 17 for only 365 days, and you could die at 18. When your mom asks you to sleep in her bed, say yes. One day she could be in…
God Is Not On Trial-Mom’s Cancer Story
Throughout all of Mom’s cancer, the past five years; from the first day she noticed a mark on her skin. God will not be put on trial. For everyone who…
The Scary Truth- What Cancer Really Looks Like-I Don’t Recognize Mom Anymore
Mom’s Cancer Story- Sunday, February 19th, 2023 In one month, mom’s brain tumor doubled in size. She thought her son’s name was September, seventeen, or cereal. She stared at the…
Another Friday Night In The Hospital- It’s the Same and It’s Different
Another Friday night in the ER. Another rushing from work to the hospital, crying in the car, praying for the same things. Mercy. The same text from dad, a picture…
Get Locked In- Focus Towards Growth-How To Be a Prettier and Cooler Person
A few small things I’ve learned/focused on recently that’ll change your life. This will make you a better girl and a cooler person. Invest in skincare and hair care, not…
Traffic Jam on The Blog-All of my Best Friends Are Out Of The Country-My Dream Coming To Life
OH, MY WORD! Did we seriously hit that?? I don’t like people knowing how many readers we have here. I don’t want it to change things AND if I start…
Mom’s Brain Cancer Story-Refusing Medicine Isn’t Faith-I’m Exhausted
I don’t recognize my parents anymore. Fried fish sticks for dinner, strange television preachers; awake at 3:00 am and asleep at noon. Dad sitting at the kitchen counter in the…
When You Can Really Say It- Owning Christianity-Mom’s Brain Surgery
I’ve lived stories that have proved Your faithfulness. I’ve seen miracles my mind can’t comprehend. There’s beauty in what I cannot understand. I believe, He’s the wonder working God, all…
Brain Surgery Part #2- Growing up in the Hospital
Hey! I’m back! It turns out that it wasn’t mom’s fancy church heels that were making her tired. On Tuesday we rushed her into the ER, her head started hurting…
When Mom Forgets How to Start the Microwave- Mom’s Cancer Story
Mom isn’t feeling good again. She keeps saying she feel’s “off.” She isn’t responding to texts very much which makes me think she isn’t able to. She had to ask…
When Your Mom Hates Your Boyfriend-Family Secrets
Heya blog friends. Why are you up at 1:00am? Some of you have been following along with me because you can relate to cancer posts. Sometimes I forget that my…
Boyfriend vs. Guy Best Friend
It doesn’t feel like Christmas yet. It’s freezing cold, but no snow. The family is out of town on business again. The house is quiet which is nice for sleeping,…
Friends That Rip Your Heart Out-Mean Girls-Growing Pains
I went to get my boyfriend Chick-F-La on Friday and ran into some old friends. I was so surprised and happy to see them. We used to see each other…
I Think He Fell In Love With Me During The Blizzard-“First Kiss?”
I’ll probably just replay yesterday over and over. When the day starts at 4 a.m, you’re a little sleep deprived. You don’t know what quality time with your boyfriend is.…
She Barfed In My Hair-Don’t Let Life Slip Away Always Reminiscing
I spent the day yesterday at home with my little sicky. She was throwing up constantly. In her hair, car, garage; in her lap and in mine. She didn’t even…
Mystery Bouquet-Back to December-When You are In Love with Someone Else!!
Do you ever have those days where everything goes wrong? It doesn’t feel real, it’s like your life is a movie. Someone calls you first thing in the morning, complaining,…
Magical Snowy Christmas Lodge-Desperate need of Vacation
Merry Blogmas!!! I hope everyone is enjoying their December so far and loving the hyped preperations of Christmas. 19 more posts and 19 more days. 💖(Sorry it’s late and I’m…
Body Shaming-Why You Should Be Intermitten Fasting-Blogmas
Oh hey there. I decided to continue my Blogmass tradition and post something every day until the 25th. BE EXCITED! At first, I submitted to the fact that I didn’t…
A Day In the Life of a Day Trader- Day #1,018-Struggles of a Day Trader Series- Update on the Trading Bot
Happy Thanksgiving! Even though my boyfriend’s trading bot continues to suck horribly, I’m full of gratitude and thankfulness this year for everything God has blessed and entrusted me with. Even…
Dreaded Anticipation-Trading Journal-Building A Trading Bot- Finishing Automation- Day #1,016
What’s poppin’ crypto friends!? Last you knew, we were getting a team of coders to fix the bugs in his bot. Well, tomorrow is the day we get our finished…
A Finished Trading Bot-Optimizing- Day #1,008
I’m sorry the title click baited you. 🙁 Don’t worry, I’m more sad than you. The trading bot is not done. We’ve had many failures and bugs, more than the…
The Struggle of Day Traders Series- Progress on Automation- 3 Steps to Building Your Trading Bot
Day #941 Constant headaches? Facial breakouts due to stress? Not hungry, too busy for fun things, can’t sleep a night through? Watching a rash appear on your chest while you…
The Struggle of Day Traders Series- Day #935- How Low does your Drawdown go Before you Give Up?
Hello my new Forex/Crypto friends. For everyone who has been following my Struggle of Day Traders Series, here’s an update. (Click Here to start reading from the beginning). I started…
Chemo and Radiation- Real Faith vs. Denial-Mom’s Cancer Story
I know this is my third cancer post in a row, frankly that’s life as of late so that’s my blogging content. Mom’s brain tumor was removed on August 18th,…
What it’s like to Grow Up in a Hospital- Brain Cancer Almost Killed my Mom this Week.
It’s my mother’s birthday month and she’s been sick for all of it. She’s been a walking miracle these past two years. On January 31st, 2020; my mom was diagnosed…
The Blog Is Getting Too Much Traffic-I’m Taking It Down
Over the years, the readers have grown. They’ve grown up and grown in number. This place is special, because of YOU. It’s been six years already! Some have come and…
Let the Race Begin- Day #892 -Struggles of Day Traders (a new journal series).
Welcome back my friends! Yesterday, my boyfriend and I opened our real trading accounts! We’ve been on every demo market available trying to perfect and adjust our strategy: becoming confident…
Glow Up This Summer-Start Living Your Dream Life-NEW Glow Up Diaries Series
YES! It’s time for the long awaited glow-up series! Who’s EXCITED!? Today you start the journey to becoming the best version of yourself… Step One: Ask Yourself… Are you wondering…
Vulnerability- How to Have a Serious Relationship-I Broke His Heart
Memorial weekend wasn’t as relaxing as I’d hoped. There were great moments but also devastatingly bad ones thrown in way too often. “Devastating” is a dramatic word, but it gets…
Back Up and Running- Welcome to the Blog.
I would like to announce that the Blog is back. You waited for it, and the time has come. Thank you to everyone who manages to stick around, even when…
Student Motivation-Nobody Can Help You
These thoughts replay in my head constantly. It’s the little things that add up-Read this when you’re feeling tired. 😵💫 When you get an assignment, schedule your studying now! When…
Ruin the Friendship-The Truth You’ve All Been Waiting For-“Singing Soccer Boy”
“I miss you so badly. And..I know you have a boyfriend…and I know you like him. Maybe even love..” The time has come for me to open up about a…
I Remember You, You Happened…Continued
I felt relieved. I felt my throat closing and my chest tightening. I felt attached and unattached. I loved him for being alive. “Is it you?” he said. I sighed…
College Depression-Using the Christian Title-My Grandparents Have Covid
Life gets harder, people get worse; better, then turn on you again. They fall off the planet, become your best friend, betray you, etc. Sometimes life seems repetitive, days feel…
I Have To Get On That Flight- Part 1
I thought I had closed that chapter of my life. I thought I had built enough walls to stay away. Then I got the phone call that changed everything.
What Real Faith Will Do-When your Mom is Diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer-High School Diaries
Death and cancer, we’re all way too familiar with these words. I’ve never met someone who wasn’t effected and hurt by cancer. There are two ways you can respond. When…
He Asked Me To Marry Him and I Declined-Story Time
Many of you following along won’t stop pestering me about a topic I didn’t “properly close.” YOU ARE ALL MORE DRAMATIC THAN ME AND YOU WON’T LET ANYTHING GO!! I…
Why I Deleted 3 Years of My Life-Boyfriend Reveal
Hi. I had celebrated my sweet sixteen, finished up Driver’s Ed, and began experiencing the true excitement of life. A little taste of independence. I wanted to try/do as many new things as I could (as I do every birthday.) I made a blog. Hundreds of posts, embarrassing stories, memories, and drama. I’ve taken them…
Surprise 18th-I Don’t have to Be Your Boyfriend-“It’s Just A Bracelet”
06/29/19 Here’s the story… Our friend group of five went out for ice cream to celebrate the loss of Keegan’s last baseball game. (Keegan wants to be famous so I say his full name here but the rest of the friends will just go by letters). I know I joke all of the time about…
Young Love and Young Idiots-Why you Shouldn’t Date a Boy With a Yacht. Stay Single
I won’t be your prom date just to make “high school memories.” I won’t go get ice cream with you late at night because you have a Porch. I’m not wrecking my life okay! It’ll take me YEARS to trust you. AND, that’s perfectly fine! You can’t tell me I have trust issues because I…
The Secret Diary
Let’s Be Friends. Elainekateblog@yahoo.com