I felt relieved. I felt my throat closing and my chest tightening. I felt attached and unattached. I loved him for being alive.
“Is it you?” he said.
I sighed with relief, “Yes it’s me. Are you alive?”
“I think I am…but…I…don’t know for sure.” He said slowly.
“I’m really glad you’re okay.”
There was silence. I heard beeping sounds and people talking near him but, he wasn’t saying anything.
“Are doing well?” He said finally.
“Me?! Me, oh I’m fine. I’m a little shaken up after hearing about you dying of course.” I said.
There was silence again.
“Your mom called me, she told me about the accident. We were really scared, everyone was.”
“Am I still in a coma?” He asked.
“I don’t think so… You’re talking to me right now,” I said laughing, holding the phone up with my shoulder, both hands gripping the staering wheel of my parked. “It’s so nice to hear your voice.” I finally said.
“Yeah, I know, that’s why I’m asking.”
“I think you’re going to be okay. Do you remember what happened?”
“I remember you. You happened.”
…
“I remember the trip and putting the boards in the back of the car. I remember seeing the truck drive towards us and then. Then, I just remember you, and everything I regret.”
… “Me?!” …
“Do you remember?” He asked.
“Honestly after your mom called, I don’t even remember driving home. But I’m here, so I must have…”
“Do you remember the drive back from State, on the bus?”
“Uhm. Yes. I remember that.” I said.
“Your 18th?”
…
“It’s still in my car. I still have it.”
…
“I’m… really glad you’re okay Nate. I really am.” I said.
“You know what it was like, when we hit that truck… it was like everything was in slow motion. I saw my whole life flash before me. Then everything just went black and quiet.”
“I can’t even imagine…” I said.
“I remembered one thing.”
“What?”
“You standing under that tree, that stupid tree. That night, on your birthday. I try to remember every detail, so I don’t lose it. That night…”
“But I had turned you down that night.” I said.
“But it wasn’t because you didn’t have feelings for me.”
…
I asked you if you had feelings for me and you didn’t say no. You didn’t know what to say…
… but your face said it all. I waited for you, all of my life, and I still am.” He exclaimed.
Austin and Ms. Amber stood by his hospital bed with their jaws on the ground. His dad getting shushed on Facetime.
“I love you,” he said, “I’m never going to not.”
…
“I don’t know what to say Nathaniel. I’m…”
“Say that you’re getting on that plane and coming to me. That I don’t have to go another day without you. Just let me show you. Give me a chance to date you and you’ll see,” he pleaded, “you’ll see that you can’t help but feel what I feel. Please just. Say you’re coming.”
…
“Elaina.”
…
“I love him though,” I admitted softly.
“I love you more than he ever could Elaina.”
…
(To be continued). -E
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