Heya blog friends. Why are you up at 1:00am?
Some of you have been following along with me because you can relate to cancer posts. Sometimes I forget that my mom has cancer, she’s so “zipped lips” about it. Tonight, on my way out of the house to drive my boyfriend’s cousins to his house, mom totally freaked out on me- “It’s been three years since you got a boyfriend and I thought things would change but it hasn’t; you never spend time with your family; his family isn’t your family; I’m your mom and he will never have the spot in your life that I do”… and so on. She wants me to stay home and do laundry, workout, clean my room, and spend time with her. She wants me to be with her and do nothing. I tried to calm her freak out but I never win, she always has to be right. I never saw that about her until I grew up and I started to disagree with some of her opinions. She says little comments to stab at me and sounds full of jealousy when I talk about things I did with my boyfriend’s family.
I walked inside around midnight tonight and my dad called me into the TV room. Apparently, mom has been acting differently and not feeling so well. Two nights ago she had a hard time walking to bed, her right arm went numb for a few minutes and her speech got a little funky. Hearing stuff like this makes me furious that we didn’t have the surgery immediately after her brain surgery in August. It also makes me mad that she didn’t tell me. I talked in her room with her for half an hour this morning and she said nothing. She always has to “wait for the right moment” to say things and it’s just a big pain to everyone. She’s been tired too, partially because of the post-cancer surgery meds the doctors have her on.
Tomorrow I’ll be sitting down with my mom and asking her why she’s keeping secrets about her health. Why she’s hiding it like she did when the tumor was growing in her brain? Hopefully knocking some sense into her AGAIN! I love my mom to pieces, and it takes all of me to make sure she doesn’t kill herself. Her surgery is on January 10th where they remove the golf-ball-sized mass from her leg, and it couldn’t come sooner. She needed this surgery in September.
God is always merciful with my family and with my mom. I’m not sure why He is, but I praise Him for it. God is so good to me.
Elaine Kate 