It doesn’t feel like Christmas yet. It’s freezing cold, but no snow. The family is out of town on business again so the house is quiet which is nice for sleeping, but it’s lonely. They drive me completely mad when they’re here, but having them gone isn’t nice either. December fills up with parties, events, productions, and more parties to the point of never seeing my boyfriend. Last year I wondered if I’d be married by this Christmas, or engaged… Now we hope for the next Christmas. I’m not sure what exactly we’re waiting for, but we both know it’s not right yet. He’s right for me, I’m right for him, but the timing isn’t yet. We’ll wait however long the Lord wants. He knows the future better than we do.
All of my “old friends” are in town for Christmas. N is home, and of course the rest of the boys. A texted me as soon as their plane landed. I ran into the girls at Ulta so they’re back for December. I avoided posting about the phone call I had with N because what’s the point? Last I mentioned him was… my 18th Birthday or Prom? Everyone asks why you haven’t heard anything about Nl and that’s because we aren’t friends anymore. We can’t be.
As much as you strangers love to read the drama, I’d like to forget for now.
One day It won’t be so serious, we’ll all laugh I’m sure when we’re both married and settled down. Hopefully. My boyfriend is very kind and forgiving but I can’t imagine him letting this one go.
We had a phone call, and he apologized.
My dreams came back. 😦
My town feels different, every public place I go I’m a little anxious to see him. I don’t like going to stores alone, but I’d take going alone over my boyfriend meeting him. Someone will leave with a black eye or a broken something, or a body bag. It would start friendly and casual- N would be overly gentlemanly and they’d judge each other like heck-in tons. Each party is jealous of my opinions and the history I share with the other. My boyfriend wouldn’t be fake at all, he’d probably slam his face In as soon as distance allowed. N would purposefully be playful and tease, finding any excuse to touch my shoulder.
Incompatiable chemicals is the best way to describe the parties meeting for the first time. It CAN NOT happen. EVER.
Merry Blogmas, goodnight friends.
Elaine Kate 